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Here are a selection of jokes from that comic genius, Tommy Cooper. What we liked about Tommy Cooper was his original style of humour. Dale Carnegie once said that it was easier to earn a million dollars than create a new phrase. Well in Tommy Cooper's case he did it - 'Just like that'.
Tommy Cooper was more than a catch phrase, he had an original approach. Biographers say that in his earliest days, Tommy Cooper was so nervous that he made unintentional mistakes, he soon saw that if he could recreate these accidents then he would have people rolling in the aisles.
In fact Tommy's earliest trick was with a milk bottle. During the course of the trick he was supposed to turn it up-side-down, but when he did the trick, the milk came pouring out along with the audiences laughter. That got Tommy Cooper thinking, I can get applause through making tricks go wrong - deliberately. 'Always leave them laughing'. To get the most from these classic one liners, I suggest that you get into state, imagine that fez hat. 'Just like that'.
Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.Tommy Cooper One-liners
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'
A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'
The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.
A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places'.
The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
Slept like a log last night ........ woke up in the fireplace.
Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.
Two blondes walked into a building. You'd have thought one would have seen it.
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.
I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.
Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for 'flu.
So I went, and I got it.'
See more funny doctor jokes Tommy Cooper Jokes.
More Cooperisms Sent in by Readers
'I became a member of The Secret Seven. It's so secret, I don't even know who the other six are... '
Sent by Johan van Elk
I went to the doctors with a jelly stuck in one ear and custard in the other. The doctor asked, 'what seems to be the problem?' I said 'you have to speak up, I'm a trifle deaf.'
Sent by Julian Cheese
Two fish in a tank, one says to the other - you drive I'll man the guns.
A guy walks into a pub with a lump of asphalt on his shoulder. He says to the barman give us a pint and one for the road.
Sent in by Johnny
At first it shocked us to learn that many 'Tommy Cooper jokes' were actually created by others long after his death. If you find any of our items that are definitely not originals then please let us know.
A man goes into the doctors. The doctor says, 'Go over to the window and stick your tongue out.'
Man says, Why? The doctor says, 'I don't like my neighbours'
Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual' .
And the dentist said to me, 'Mr Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet.'
'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home.
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.
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