Funny Pics And Quotes Biography
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"Ted Cruz, of course, was furious that the big storm back east shut down the government. He said, 'That my job!' But you know, there is a big difference between Ted Cruz and snow. Both are white and everyone’s sick of them – but eventually snow goes away." –Bill Maher
"I know climate change is a hoax – of course – but places that have never seen this type of winter weather got hit by it. More than a half a million southerners have been left in the dark --- and then the storm hit." –Bill Maher
"New Rule: This Valentine’s Day Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find out what's on the inside only to discover that Democrats are too often soft and gooey and Republicans are mostly nuts." –Bill Maher
"This Facebook fiasco is one of the biggest clusterf**ks ever on Wall Street. Regular people got screwed and the banks and the insiders did okay. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, 'The American Dream.'" –Bill Maher
"Mitt Romney was attacking Obama about our failing education system. He has a point. We are graduating millions of people in this country who are so lacking in basic analytical skills, they are considering voting for Mitt Romney." –Bill Maher
"A new biography came out that says that in high school Obama was a huge pothead … Mitt Romney had to respond to this and said, ‘It is appalling that Obama spent his teenage years goofing around and smoking pot when he should have been pinning down gay kids and cutting their hair." –Bill Maher
"Mitt Romney comes from a Mormon background. I don't know how many wives he has. I'm not saying that I believe in that, I'm just saying he was born on a Mormon compound. I'm not a 'Wifer' but for some reason he's never shown his original marriage certificate." –Bill Maher, countering "Birthers" by creating a Romney 'Wifer' controversy
"Why did Mitt Romney strap his dog to the roof of his car? Could it be because his station wagon was full of wives?" –Bill Maher
"Mitt Romney, who is on record saying that he would not waste money going after bin Laden, and on record saying he would not violate Pakistan's border to get bin Laden, this week said, 'Of course I would have gotten bin Laden.' Even his Etch-A-Sketch went, seriously?" --Bill Maher
"It looks like the Republicans are going back to the strategy of 2008 where Obama is characterized as a celebrity. Says the party who is gay for Ronald Reagan. Come on, you can't worship Ronald Reagan and then attack Obama for being a celebrity. That's like running Chris Christie and saying Obama has a fat ass." --Bill Maher
"Newt Gingrich was campaigning at a zoo this week and he was bitten by a penguin. Newt Gingrich is always campaigning at zoos. Mitt Romney once did a photo op at a zoo. That was a big mistake, because he stood next to the chameleon, and HE changed colors." --Bill Maher
"New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker last night personally rescued a woman from a burning building. Or as Fox News reported it, 'black man loots house, steals white woman.'" --Bill Maher
"It's that time of year again, April 15, taxes. I know it's depressing, but just remember, you're paying for roads, bridges, hospitals, and an army to keep the nation free. Unfortunately that nation is Afghanistan." --Bill Maher
"We learned this week that Mitt Romney is building a car elevator in his house. An elevator for your cars. I get the feeling this guy wants to be president so he has a place to live while he's remodeling his beach house. ... I'm not worried that this guy is out of touch. I'm worried he's Batman. I could see Mitt as Batman. He hears about a robbery, he changes into the magic underwear, he rushes to the crime scene, and he helps the crooks manage their new money." --Bill Maher
"African American Congressman Bobby Rush wore a hoodie on the floor of Congress to make a point this week. And they threw him out. They said a hoodie is too scary for Congress. Too scary? Have you ever looked into Michele Bachmann's eyes?" --Bill Maher
"March Madnesss...the only place where you hear 'Kansas is advancing.'" --Bill Maher
"Rick Santorum has come out against contraception and against college. He wants us literally to be f**king stupid." --Bill Maher
"That Mitt Romney, he is a master campaigner. This week he was introducing his wife, and he said, 'She is the heavyweight champion of my life.” Which may explain why on the ride home, he was strapped to the roof of the car." --Bill Maher
"Rick Santorum doesn't like sex. He doesn't like the pill. He really doesn't like condoms. He said if men are going to pull something on to prevent procreation, nothing works better that a sweater vest." --Bill Maher
"Santorum made a speech and said, 'If we follow the path of President Obama and his overt hostility to faith in America, then we are heading down the road to the guillotine.' The guillotine, really? This is why he's ahead. In one sentence, he hit on all the things they love at the Republican convention: logical fallacies, Obama paranoia, and f*ck the French." --Bill Maher
"Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don't need birth control, you are birth control." --Bill Maher
"Now that they've finished reading the Constitution out loud, the Teabaggers must call out that group of elitist liberals whose values are so antithetical to theirs. I'm talking of course about the Founding Fathers, who the Teabaggers believe are just like them, but aren't. One is a group of exclusively white men who live in a bygone century, have bad teeth, and think of blacks as 3/5 of a person, and the other are the Founding Fathers." --Bill Maher
"Republicans stand by their convictions. Stupid, ignorant, world-destroying convictions based on disproven economic fantasies and ancient books full of primitive morality and magic people. But convictions, nonetheless." --Bill Maher
"I want you teabaggers out there to understand one thing: while you idolize the Founding Fathers and dress up like them, and smell like them, I think it's pretty clear that the Founding Fathers would have hated your guts. And what's more, you would've hated them. They were everything you despise. They studied science, read Plato, hung out in Paris and thought the Bible was mostly bulls**t." --Bill Maher
"We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal." -Bill Maher
"The Republicans released their 'Pledge to America.' It's 21 pages of phony charts and bad ideas. Sarah Palin got a copy, and she said, 'How am I supposed to fit all this crap on my hand?" --Bill Maher
Funny Pics And Quotes Funny Pics of Anything With Captons for Fb For Kids Tumblr for Facebook of People of Animals for Instagram and Quotes
Funny Pics And Quotes Funny Pics of Anything With Captons for Fb For Kids Tumblr for Facebook of People of Animals for Instagram and Quotes
Funny Pics And Quotes Funny Pics of Anything With Captons for Fb For Kids Tumblr for Facebook of People of Animals for Instagram and Quotes
Funny Pics And Quotes Funny Pics of Anything With Captons for Fb For Kids Tumblr for Facebook of People of Animals for Instagram and Quotes
Funny Pics And Quotes Funny Pics of Anything With Captons for Fb For Kids Tumblr for Facebook of People of Animals for Instagram and Quotes
Funny Pics And Quotes Funny Pics of Anything With Captons for Fb For Kids Tumblr for Facebook of People of Animals for Instagram and Quotes
Funny Pics And Quotes Funny Pics of Anything With Captons for Fb For Kids Tumblr for Facebook of People of Animals for Instagram and Quotes
Funny Pics And Quotes Funny Pics of Anything With Captons for Fb For Kids Tumblr for Facebook of People of Animals for Instagram and Quotes
Funny Pics And Quotes Funny Pics of Anything With Captons for Fb For Kids Tumblr for Facebook of People of Animals for Instagram and Quotes
Funny Pics And Quotes Funny Pics of Anything With Captons for Fb For Kids Tumblr for Facebook of People of Animals for Instagram and Quotes
Funny Pics And Quotes Funny Pics of Anything With Captons for Fb For Kids Tumblr for Facebook of People of Animals for Instagram and Quotes
Funny Pics And Quotes Funny Pics of Anything With Captons for Fb For Kids Tumblr for Facebook of People of Animals for Instagram and Quotes
Funny Pics And Quotes Funny Pics of Anything With Captons for Fb For Kids Tumblr for Facebook of People of Animals for Instagram and Quotes
Funny Pics And Quotes Funny Pics of Anything With Captons for Fb For Kids Tumblr for Facebook of People of Animals for Instagram and Quotes
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